Road to Ballhalla Review: Keep (T)Rolling, (T)Rolling, (T)Rolling

It takes a lot of balls to mock the player the way that Road to Ballhalla does. Early into the game, when most developers take the time to provide just enough of a challenge to get the ball rolling, Torch Hill decided it would be best to get one thing out of the way – they are not your friends. They will troll you every chance they get, be it telling you that the level can’t be beat, faking you out by showing you a puzzle that would make most lesser creatures’ brains explode as you stroll on by using a hidden path, or simply mock you for sucking at life. If you’re familiar with the hint mechanic from Dark Souls, in which other players could leave nefarious, ill-advised messages on the ground for you, you’ll feel right at home. The big difference is that the other players wouldn’t insult you or throw out a Dad joke after their advice resulted in your premature demise, which happens regularly in the world of Ballhalla.

This is a puzzle game, requiring you to roll your way through a series of traps that become more and more difficult as you go. Many of the dangers are so obvious that it’ll hurt like sitting on your marbles at the wrong time – some of these include glowing red segments of flooring or lasers. However, others are much more subtle, such as alternating colored blocks that follow you like the ghosts from Pac-Man. By far the most substantial challenge comes from the invisible pathways that are introduced early in the game, requiring you to find and memorize huge segments of blank areas, with little more than a few collectible orbs (we’ll get to this later) to guide you. I racked up a staggering death count in the 30’s on one challenge alone. The only thing that whizzes by faster than the death toll is the constant flow of insults, puns, and tongue in cheek bad jokes that are equal parts insulting and hilarious. I found it extremely hard to avoid reading the on screen prompts using an internal monologue voiced by the legendary GLaDOS.

You won’t have many tools at your disposal, aside from a boost mechanic that is as deadly as it is helpful, due to the fact that any damage taken during its use will be 100% fatal. With this being said, you should only use it in the event it is absolutely necessary, which is extremely rare. In order to progress you will need to take your time and carefully assess the situations laid out before you and learn the necessary patterns, as almost everything aside from you runs on one, which works in sync with the game’s music. The music by Emmy-nominated composer Nicholas Singer is a focal point of the game; however, it wasn’t really the normal style I roll with, leaning heavily on the eletronica genre. It’s not a bad soundtrack, but Hotline Miami it is not. I feel that Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’ would’ve been a better fit, or at the least an optional track (before you jump on the comments to troll me, because let’s be honest, the game’s done plenty of that already, this is a joke. No one listens to Limp Bizkit anymore).

As you progress through the levels you will have to collect small orbs, some of which work as a collectible that you are graded by on each level while the others work as checkpoints. The well placed checkpoints are your best friends, allowing you to manipulate the save system if you wish to collect each and every orb in the levels due to the fact they can be reused to save the current progress, as well as refill your health. Upon completion of the level, you will be graded on your performance earning up to eight marks, which takes into account your deaths, as well as how many of the orbs you collected. These marks will unlock additional areas and modes, as well as cosmetic items that allow you to customize your ball. This requirement caused me to hit a roadblock upon completing the second of three chapters the game offers, as I was forced to revisit past areas to try to improve my standings. As I get older and my free time becomes less common, I find this mechanic or requirement to be more and more frustrating as it’s nothing more than a cheap way to inject longevity into games. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to replay games to get as close to a 100% completion as possible, but I would prefer it to be optional, not a requirement to see the entire package.

The game’s presentation works extremely well, with a basic HUD providing the information you need with nothing else included. The level design is just short of being perfect, with very little filler (aside from the occasional “tip,” be it a red herring or a dad joke) taking up any of the visual space within the world – the majority of the tracks sit atop a solid black background. Eagle eyed gamers will find many hidden paths, often with no clear way of reaching them. With some of these being legit hidden areas that you’ll have to use trial and error problem solving to reach and others being completely unreachable, I rarely felt like the path I was taking was actually safe. On more than one occasion I found an invisible path that would’ve appeared to be the proper way forward, only to make it a few spaces outside of the unknown area to find a dead end. Coming from a console background, it’s a bit of a kick to the orbs to say this, but this would work much better on a keyboard than a standard controller. While the controls are fairly precise, my movement was not, causing me to lean too far over the edge of a narrow passage only to fall off at the last minute.

The Road to Ballhalla is an uneven highway, and while I can’t say it is necessarily a fun one to explore, it offers a journey that is equal parts challenging and frustrating, that amounts to a strange sense of accomplishment, even in the face of adversity. If dad jokes, being trolled, and punishing challenges are your thing, look no further.

8 out of 10

Pros

  • Unique Puzzles
  • Dad Jokes Galore
  • Precise Controls
  • Overall Great Presentation

Cons

  • Staggering Difficulty
  • Fake Outs and Trolling Gets Old
  • Progression Loses Momentum Once Your Performance Peaks

Road to Ballhalla was developed by Torched Hill and published by tinyBuild Games. It launched on PC in 2016, as well as NS, PS4, and X1 on August 1, 2018 for $14.99. The game was provided to us for review on X1. If you’d like to see more of Road to Ballhalla, check out the official site.

 

Here at GBG we use a rating method that you are more than likely familiar with – a scale of 1 to 10. For clarification, we intend on using the entire scale: 1-4 is something you should probably avoid paying for; 5-7 is something that is worth playing, but probably not at full price; 8-10 is a great title that you can feel confident about buying. If you have any questions or comments about how we rate a game, please let us know.

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