When you think of remastered games, iconic titles such as Halo or Gears of War would be the first to come to mind. Rarely do we see older games that would have been defined as sleeper hits from multiple generations past receiving this moniker, favoring an all-out reboot in place of the original. GODS, according to Google, was a popular game from the Amiga era in the early 90s. For anyone that missed it, me included, it’s now available on current consoles.

The game follows Hercules on his quest to find immortality – that’s what Wikipedia says at least, since there are no fancy cut scenes or text boxes communicating your goal. While there are a few hints provided that work as a brief tutorial through the first dungeon, there is little in the form of player direction, requiring you to figure out the bulk of the mechanics on your own. Luckily, there isn’t much to memorize, as your options are limited to throwing a weapon at the never ending swarms of enemies, jumping, and pulling switches.

The gameplay boils down to basic side scrolling platforming and puzzle solving, all the while evading traps and destroying skeletons, zombies and other creatures that the game throws at you. It’s all the basic bells and whistles from the 90’s you may fondly remember, but sadly, the test of time hasn’t been kind here. The movement is sluggish, jumping feels like Hercules has cinder blocks attached to his feet, and the combat is reduced to only being able to attack what is directly in front or behind of the character. The puzzles don’t offer any relief either, as all of the brain busters I encountered required matching patterns above sets of switches, meaning any toddler with a set of eyes could easily progress. These mechanics may have been acceptable and leaned towards making the game a bit more challenging 20 years ago, but today we expect a bit more out of developers.

The only challenge the game offers is due to a punishing lack of polish – platforms are placed directly over traps, requiring you to either take damage by walking directly through it or hoping the game allows you to jump just enough to bash your head against the platform above while inching past the previously mentioned hazard. Making matters worse, you’ll still have to deal with enemies that often appear right in front of you, as if they were the Predator and uncloaked just before you walked into their grasp. Even when the game isn’t backing you into a corner due to the trap/platforming placements and throwing enemies at you from off screen, the platforming is downright awful. This can be attributed to one of the worst jumping abilities in gaming history. Even if you inch your way towards the end of one platform to make a ridiculously long jump to the next, you’ll often fall short, with this clearly being the only path forward. If you are lucky enough to make the jump after the tenth attempt, you’ll likely be standing on the edge with Hercules’ big toe holding on for dear life.

I can only assume Hercules is looking for immortality due to the punishingly low amount of damage the half God can withstand. Stepping on a spike that would likely be akin to Thor banging his toe on the coffee table is enough to take 1/3 of Hercules life bar, and enemy attacks are just as brutal, if not more so. You are given a few lives from the onset with no true continue options being in place if you run out. You’ll either be offered the option to start fresh, or continue from the beginning of the last level you completed, with your life count and health bar remaining at the same state as before. While I like a challenge, I found this to add yet another layer of frustration on what was already once of the more monotonous games I’ve played in recent history.

There are two distinct visual options when playing: the original visuals, which were my preference, and the remastered 3D models that still inhabit the same 2D space. The original visuals look and feel like a retro game should, with character models that look like they were a riff on the Golden Axe series, effectively scratching my never-ending retro itch. The newer models are passable when the game is completely static, but are animated in a way that appears multiple frames are missing, coming across as clunky and yet again, unpolished. As a way of pouring salt into the wound, the 3D animations caused many of the switches and item drops to get lost within the environments.

While I am fully aware that the original is a bit of a fan favorite, rocking an impressive average among the reviews I perused, GODS Remastered feels dated and punishingly difficult for all the wrong reasons. Unless you are among those who have already taken on the quest for endless life and went back for more, I would strongly advise against taking on this journey, as you will likely never see the end credits roll.

3 out of 10

Pros

• Playable with New or Original Visuals

Cons

• Poor Mechanics All Around
• Punishing Difficulty
• Enemy Spawns

GODS Remastered was developed and published by Robot Riot UG (haftungsbeschränkt). It is currently available on PC, PS4, NS, X1 and Mobile. The game was provided to us for review on X1. If you’d like to see more of GODS Remastered, check out the official site.

 

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